Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ____________ _________ _________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime ____________ _________ ________ SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. ____________ _________ ________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ____________ _________ ________ HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ____________ _________ _________ LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ____________ _________ _________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. ____________ _________ ________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ____________ _________ ________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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